Love is something difficult, and it is more difficult than other things because in other conflicts, nature herself enjoins men to collect themselves, to take themselves firmly in hand with all their strength, while in the heightening of love, the impulse is to give oneself wholly away.
- R.M. Rilke
In Victorian parlance, I think this quote is something they'd describe as pasok sa banga. Pasok na pasok.
The past few weeks or so, I haven't been thinking about it, which is a huge improvement from the constantly lovelorn fool that I spent my teenage years as. I spent four nights in Bacolod alone in my hotel room, itching to head to the nearby computer shop and look for a fuck (no thanks to the hotel's faulty wifi connection), but every time a foot is on the lobby, I'd stop myself and settle for a smoke and a stroll. (Besides, I was there for work.)
Hm. I forgot the whole point of this entry. I guess there are times when I miss being with someone. Valentines, after all, is but 65 days away. Haha. Funny, I've never spent a Christmas, birthday, or Valentines Day with anyone, which is statistically improbable given the five ex's. I had dates, surely, on Valentines Day, and on at least three occasions I can recall, I wore black along with my posse. Sometimes, though, you want to belong to the crowd, the majority, the droves of people who actually see romance where they should (and the capitalist system dictates their belief systems to). Despite the many an angry pronouncements I may have said against love, I'd willingly shun them and eat my words. That is, if someone (hopefully five-foot-ten and with a penis and speaks a Romance language) will prove me wrong.
I really hate this stupid Decembrrr weather.
