Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Ang pagputol sa neo-virgin state.

At about 2am today, there was a guy sleeping in my bed. Which is odd. I've never brought anyone home since second year college five years ago, and that included illustration boards and books and excuses about pretend class projects. I did not tire of casual sex, I started getting boyfriends and having sex at their place - infinitely more convenient and less hassle than keeping a bunch of names and places on your phone book (Jay Katips, Aaron Anonas, Jeff Proj. 4, etc).

The sorry story. )




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Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

Weight, lighters, and telegrams.

  • If the weighing scale at home is to be trusted, I've lost 13 lbs in a little over a month, which is essentially a statistical and biological improbability. On second thought, I am prone to these kinds of weight swings, especially back in college during hell weeks.
  • I am not remotely romantic at this point in my life, but I had to reconsider things when, settling in our little bench in RCBC's lung center, we both fished out identical yellow Cricket lighters from our pockets, something that elicited what must have been the 100th laughter of the day (and it was only 5pm). This, after getting coffee and before heading to his condo nearby for a little Ally McBeal marathon.
  • Slowly, the rakets are coming in. Although I've to admit, I can feel the credit crunch. Talking about this with Piya some weeks back, I asked her if telegrams still existed, because I was too shy to ask my mom this little favor. We predicted the exchange to resemble something like this.
    Glenn: Ma [stop] Please pay credit card bills [stop] Ma: Anak [stop] Pakyu [stop]

  • The client practically told me to watch Gossip Girl. Ugh. (Actually, as much as I hate to admit it, the reason I don't want to start watching the CW series is because I might get hooked.)
  • Countdown to 23rd birthday: 13 days. Expect some age-obsessed entries disguised as existential, po-mo shit.




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Friday, December 5th, 2008

Pesteng pag-ibig.

Love is something difficult, and it is more difficult than other things because in other conflicts, nature herself enjoins men to collect themselves, to take themselves firmly in hand with all their strength, while in the heightening of love, the impulse is to give oneself wholly away.

- R.M. Rilke



In Victorian parlance, I think this quote is something they'd describe as pasok sa banga. Pasok na pasok.

The past few weeks or so, I haven't been thinking about it, which is a huge improvement from the constantly lovelorn fool that I spent my teenage years as. I spent four nights in Bacolod alone in my hotel room, itching to head to the nearby computer shop and look for a fuck (no thanks to the hotel's faulty wifi connection), but every time a foot is on the lobby, I'd stop myself and settle for a smoke and a stroll. (Besides, I was there for work.)

Hm. I forgot the whole point of this entry. I guess there are times when I miss being with someone. Valentines, after all, is but 65 days away. Haha. Funny, I've never spent a Christmas, birthday, or Valentines Day with anyone, which is statistically improbable given the five ex's. I had dates, surely, on Valentines Day, and on at least three occasions I can recall, I wore black along with my posse. Sometimes, though, you want to belong to the crowd, the majority, the droves of people who actually see romance where they should (and the capitalist system dictates their belief systems to). Despite the many an angry pronouncements I may have said against love, I'd willingly shun them and eat my words. That is, if someone (hopefully five-foot-ten and with a penis and speaks a Romance language) will prove me wrong.

I really hate this stupid Decembrrr weather.



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